The Anger Inside of Us
How to Manage Anger
If you've been around these parts before, you know that I like to sit down and get real. Talk about some real emotions. Real feelings, and just real shit. I normally write about things I know when it comes to life advice, just as a way to potentially help at least one person who may be going through a similar scenario.
Anger consumes all of us to some degree, but what type of anger is a whole different story. Some people calmly communicate their frustrations, others yell and some even start to throw things at one another. It can escalate quickly, and it's a serious issue.
This post actually couldn't come at a better time because I was a terrible example of anger management today with my raging tweet to Apple about how my brand NEW MacBook Pro hasn't been working properly for almost 3 weeks now. I took it to Apple Care last week and they said everything was fine and there were no issues. Clearly there are if my laptop won't even connect to WiFi. These types of things are so frustrating to me because after spending a fortune on a laptop, I expect it to work without needing support a week into it. However I just need to cool in the moment so I don't scream and yell and then get no support from Apple.
In addition, I've had a lot of trouble in the past with anger when it comes to alcohol. For many, alcohol opens up that fiery wrath and makes people go "out of their element" and just be a completely disgusting angry human to everyone who encounters them in this state. This was me with certain amounts and certain types of alcohol. I realized that alcohol made me angry, or intolerable amongst friends and I didn't want to be that person. I wanted to be a better human, I wanted to be inspirational and not an angry asshole. This is where I started when it came to managing and decreasing my anger.
I want to share some of my favorite tips when it comes to managing my own anger, even though now I've calmed down quite a bit.
Get some exercise.
Plain and simple. Working out that additional energy you may have to be aggressive is one of the best ways to get rid of anger. In addition, those endorphins that flow through your system after working out are good for you and will hopefully deter you from anger.
Take a breath.
In the moment, we say and do things we may forever regret so be conscious of your actions. Don't say things that can't be taken back.
When I used to get angry, I realized I didn't know anything about relaxation. I had so much going on and I went from 8 classes in college, to a full-time job, to a second part-time job and then somewhere in between managed a social life. I can't remember the amount of stress I had going on, but it is something that was clearly causing more explosions when I drank because I didn't have the energy to deal with much when I was awake. Practice being calm, sitting on the couch and doing absolutely nothing. We all need to sit our asses down sometimes.
Laugh it off.
If one of my friends ever told me I was a total jackass to someone for whatever reason, I would make sure to send the appropriate apologies to the individuals I may have been awful to. I always tried to make a joke of it too. "Remember how big of an asshole I was? Ridiculous I know. Thanks for the great party and so sorry if I was ridiculously obnoxious. You have to stop making those delicious shots!" Something along those lines goes a long way when it comes to anger bursts. If it happens, you will need to find a way to laugh about it to make it more manageable for yourself and the individual involved.
Don't be ashamed.
If you need professional help to deal with anger, do not be ashamed. We all have our demons and we all struggle with something. There's no reason to be ashamed about what you're struggling with. The important thing is the willingness to try to get better at managing it, and acknowledging it is a problem.
Talk to family & friends.
If you create an open line of communication with the people dearest to you, they can help with your journey and be more understanding if it's an issue you believe you posses but are actively seeking therapy & a solution. Plus anytime you tell your friends, they are usually so responsive, positive and down to help you. This is the type of positivity you need in your life.